Regression

Ahh, and I was doing so well with "acceptance"...

I have reverted back to feeling devastated and desperate, trying to convince my husband of the error of his ways. Someone slap me. I'm banging my head against a wall; I've been crying for 5 days straight. Oh, and this baby is coming SOON.

I am grateful for my parents and all they are doing to help me. I couldn't survive this without them. They are a financial support as well as emotional. Plus the kids are completely destroying anything of beauty or value in their home. Ugh. It is so frustrating. But, I guess that's the least of my worries, really. Just extremely grateful right now. Especially with the imminent arrival of Baby #6. I am an emotional wreck.

Janey is sick, fevering, super uncomfortable, won't sleep. And she won't let me hold her at night (apparently sleeping on top of a bowling ball is not very comfortable, who knew?) - only my mom. So grandma has been up all night the past three nights taking care of baby. I've been awake too, but she's had to do all the work. Like I said, extremely grateful.

I still want to make my marriage work. Nothing has changed.