I have been saying this whole time that I wouldn't come back to Facebook until the divorce was final. I was futilely trying to prove something to my husband about my commitment, my devotion. It has taken me this long to realize that my husband TRULY doesn't care about me. He doesn't care about my feelings, my intentions, my desires, or my "gestures" and has no intention of ever caring again. I decided it was time for me to stop giving him control over me - over my thoughts, my emotions, my actions, my confidence. Time for me to really start finding myself, and to do that I have to recognize that I deserve better than the way I've been treated for the past 5 months. I deserve to be loved; I deserve to be happy; I deserve to be treated with respect. I cannot control whether or not I get those things from Rick, but I don't have to keep living at his mercy.
I continue to be sincere in my goals for my family. I continue to be willing to do whatever it takes to fix, mend, repair. Whatever it takes.
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