Bigamy

I am, regretfully, still married to Richard James Thomson.  The divorce is NOT final.  He is, however, living with another woman, wearing "rings" and acting as if he were married.  Was there a ceremony?  I wonder.  Now I am married to a bigamist.  This just keeps getting MORE AND MORE AWESOME.  And by awesome, I mean RETARDED.  And I do not use that word lightly.