Saturday, March 12, 2011
Blame
I want to fix this. And I hate that he won't give us the chance. So I feel like someone has to be to blame. I blame myself for what I did. When that doesn't work, I blame him for what he's doing. But that doesn't work either. It doesn't matter how much I change, how much I have changed, how much I want things to change, he isn't going to change. He would rather move forward with her than try to make anything work with me. It hurts and it sucks. Just accept it.
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1 comment:
Personally, when you have any children involved...religiously speaking or not...I think you have to be able to honestly tell them that you did everything within your power to keep their family intact.
I have seen what having two families did to my son and the insecurity and anger it put in him, despite a working and friendly relationship with his father for most of his growing years. Counseling, communication, church involvement (if you have one like you or I do) etc.
You have to be able to look them in the eye and say, "I did everything I could to keep your childhood as normal as possible". If you can do that, great. If he won't then he will be the one who will have his feet held to the fire or will have to reflect on his decisions after if he's asked or when he has to look at his children and see how they've been damaged (and they are damaged...no matter how hard you try to avoid it. My son is insecure and angry and we got along!).
So, it's not you or he that will be applying blame. It will be your six children. They will see what happens and they will know who tried and who didn't. Children are very adept. I hope for their sakes alone, he takes a big step back and ask himself how much *they* mean to him and what he's willing to do for them. When they ask him "did you try" will *he* be able to say, "yes, I tried everything"?
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