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Friday, March 2, 2012

Vicious

The first time I got my heart broken, I was called "vicious."  His name was Matt Stevens, it was 1998, and I had honestly thought I was going to marry him.  His word cut through me, and has always stayed with me, to this very day.

Rick has called me many things, and I'm sure the word "vicious" would probably sum them up.  I can be truly awful when I am hurt.  I attack back in a VICIOUS way.  Especially when I have a bit of a talent for words.

Last night, Brian told me I was "mean."  It was the same.  He may as well said I was vicious, but he also told me that I might be the nicest, most giving, generous, thoughtful person he has ever met.  There is definitely a mean, vicious side to me, but in my heart I am good and I care about people.

It is about time that I explore this a little more.  Time to let go of the vicious in me.

(Brian - I hope you are not bothered by this mention, or by my obvious paraphrasing of your words.)