The story my ex's wife tells my kids is that they (Rick and Carolyn) were "dating" and they were "best friends" for many years. Then they "broke up." Two weeks later she found out he had married me. Hmmm.... So now, I somehow got between them all those years ago?? LOL.
If that was true, why did he never mention that romantic relationship to me, his wife and mother of his children? The night of our first date, he actually had ANOTHER date with someone else, not her. We went to lunch together, he left to go out with someone else, and then he met up with me later. The only reference he ever mentioned to me of her - throughout our ten years together - was that she was always in love with him. She and he were friends. She would come to his window in the middle of the night and they would go walk and talk for hours. But he was never interested in her as anything more than a friend. He was not attracted to her. The way he explained it, she was his reliable "friend" that he resorted back to whenever he didn't have a real girlfriend.
I mention it because it surprises me. Revisionist history.
I mention it because it hurts my children - the idea that I somehow prevented their happiness all those years ago. Just another way to shift responsibility.
IF HE WANTED TO MARRY HER BACK THEN, HE WOULD HAVE.
HE MARRIED ME. I WAS HOTTER, THAT'S ALL HE CARED ABOUT.
DUH.
I hurt him. I destroyed him. And he went running back to Old Reliable. (And he became a liar.) More power to them both. Please stop lying to our children.
