I had no need to post that last post. I am not going to delete it. What's done is done, but it is all part of me working through everything I am going through. It was overkill. I got weak. I decided to cater to another hurtful thing that Rick had said to me, rather than focus on the good, happy, wonderful things that are in my life right now. My post was purposely skewed to favor Rick's perspective. I didn't want anyone to be able to accuse me of being dishonest. I tried to present "his truth" and I think it may have backfired. He won't tell me "his truth" so why do I feel the need to address it at all? He just attacks and attacks, why do I feel the need to try to defend myself or even hurt myself more? Besides, I'm sure that ultimately he will find a reason to use that last post against me somehow. It doesn't matter what I do or say, he will think it is wrong.
So, the only reasons I could possibly regret writing that last post are as follows: 1.) I was jumping to Rick's whistle, and that is no longer necessary in my life. 2.) There is no need for my children to ever know or read those facts. 3.) Those details, made public (although privately shared at previous occasions) could potentially hurt my current relationship.
However, those details, either public OR private do not in any way justify the choices that have been made by my children's father. Every right or wrong thing he has done to me and to them has been HIS CHOICE. Maybe I'm trying to own my choices so that he will own his? I need to let go of that.
1 comment:
Wow Amber. Reading your previous tell all post really helped me understand a lot! I think it took a lot of guts to share what you shared. And I think you are stronger than you realize and stronger than other people in your life realize. Thank you for sharing that.
I added you as a friend on my blog.
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