His Grace Is Sufficient

I met with my Bishop during church today.  I have been feeling great, and today is no exception.  My Bishop shared with me a "secret" - and an important one at that.  Someone out there is now reading my blog who does not agree with my perspective.  This morning, Bishop Green came to his office and found a large stack of printed copies of my blog entries.  The entries had been carefully selected, highlighted, and a cover "letter" was included (although anonymous) explaining that the sender believed it to be important that the Bishop be aware of my behavior?  attitude?  actions?  I'm not sure exactly the details, but the desired result was clear - I was doing something WRONG and should (probably?) be punished (admonished?)...

Let me be clear.  The blog is once again public because I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO HIDE.  There are a few entries of which I am ashamed.  Ashamed of my anger, my weakness, my hostility.  However, they are real, they are true, they are my actual emotions on those particular days under those particular circumstances.  I am not always proud of my feelings, but I have always accepted them.  It has allowed me to heal to this level.  I do not deny that I am imperfect in my progress, but I KNOW THAT I AM CONSTANTLY PROGRESSING!  Ah, the power of His Grace!

My Bishop told me that he read through each page, and, as he read, he said to himself "Yes, I remember that."  "I remember that."  "I remember that."  Maybe this person is trying to get me into some kind of trouble, but I have been completely open and honest with my Bishop about my feelings, my shortcomings, my rough patches, and my high points.  He has been with me constantly through this experience.  He has seen me strong and seen me weak.  He told me, "Amber, I did not learn anything that I did not already know."

We all need validation at times.  I am learning that I have always had a HIGH NEED for validation, but I'm also learning the reasons my insecurities existed.  I DID NOT understand fully the power of my Savior's Atonement.  I did not understand God's Plan for us.  I did not have a true testimony of the temple, of temple covenants, of eternal families.  I DO NOW.  And I still appreciate validation.  I still am so grateful that my Bishop knows me, knows my heart (good and bad) and knows how to offer truly inspired guidance.  I could say the same for my Savior.  He knows me, knows the good and bad of my heart, and He TRULY knows how to offer me guidance.  My relationship with Christ has supported me and led me through this very difficult time of my life.

The Bishop gave me a copy of an article from BYU Magazine.  It is entitled His Grace Is Sufficient, and I have included a link here.  I hope you will all read it (even my anonymous "tattler") and learn something new about the Grace of our Lord and Savior.  I read it and I cried.  At many, many different points, I cried.  I cried because of the truth of what I was reading.  What I learned is that His Grace IS sufficient.  Not just for me, but for Rick and Carolyn as well.  Darn it.  But I know it is true.  And I will continue to love them and pray for their ability to take full advantage of the Atonement of Christ.