I have been debating whether or not to post this, but I am feeling so destroyed that I want to release it from my soul... And I am reaching out.
After a stressful and emotionally charged interaction yesterday I finally wrote this:
"Every time I read that you are not convinced, I WANT to try to convince you. I can't convince u. You admit I've changed but r afraid it's not forever. I respect that! But you are choosing your new relationship over your family. We could do this but you'd have to let her go. I'm sorry. That's best for the kids and eternity." 3:32pm
And then I wrote:
"I never saw your hurt. I was too wrapped up in me. Not until September. Then I felt it all. Sorry." 3:35pm
And received:
"You are right" 3:39pm
And then:
"I should of stayed with [HER] 10 years ago but instead I chose you too bad for eternity and you and the kids do your best to save the kids from my corrupt life choices" 3:44pm
My response:
"You just said it all. Too bad. You chose me. What u "want" now doesn't matter. You aren't righting a wrong. You are destroying eternity. Thank you for finally admitting it." 3:51pm
"And 6 kids." 3:53pm
Rick -
"Now will u leave me alone" 3:54pm
2 comments:
Amber,
He doesn't get it. You get it.
He did not chose her 10 years ago. He chose you. He also chose you in front of God, Angels and witnesses. He chose you to be his Eternal companion. He chose you to be the mother of his children. You made mistakes. Big ones. And how has it changed you? It brought you closer to the Spirit, closer to your family, and closer to God.
You can't convince him. The only one worth convincing is Heavenly Father. And you have done it! You are successful!
How can you respect a man willing to throw away his Eternal Family for his own selfish desires? What is so ironic, is that he is making Ms. Indiana the "other woman". And acting as if there is some sort of justification. He is making bad choices that he is crucifying you for. That is not a Spiritual leader of an Eternal Family. That is a selfish little boy.
Shame on those of you for encouraging Rick to make choices that take him further away from the Eternal Family he committed himself to. Shame on those of you who encourage Ms. Indiana to be the "other woman" and call it justified. Shame on those who are acting as false prophets and spew your backwards doctrines for Rick to believe.
How dare I speak this way, right? I have every damn right to say it. I have been cheated on... and I DID NOT leave. I wanted to. I thought about all the other men I could have married. I hated my husband for what he did. I felt all the awful pain that one could possibly feel. But I did not leave. I made a commitment to my Heavenly Father, my husband and my to children. My husband's heart was changing. I didn't believe it at first. But it did change, and he is the man I have always wanted. But it took time. And it took effort on his part and mine. And I did not have a bunch of people distracting me from my Eternal Family. I was blessed to have family and friends that encouraged our healing as a couple and as a family. I am sorry that Rick does not have that. It is sad that he has the opposite.
Amber, you are a fantastic woman and a great mother who has made such strides in being closer to the Father and doing what He has asked you to do... to be the person He wants you to be... you are deserving of love and kindness. You are deserving of so much more. This trial is a big one. And you are going to make it through and your family will be blessed for it.
Stay strong in your faith and your love for our Heavenly Father. Only YOU can make your children and their lives happier. Unfortunately it IS the mom who gets stuck with all the 'blessings' of being a single mom. Welfare, doctor's appointments, supporting children, late night sickness, school plays... I could go on and on. he wants to be a Disneyland dad. It may be hard now but in the end your children will respect you above all others.
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