Whew!

What a crazy emotional ride I'm capable of taking.  Yesterday was all over the map, and I really liked the way my brother Drew summed it up by telling me that feelings can be true, but that doesn't make them "truth."  I guess I really just tried to publicize why Rick got SO angry at me that he was unable to find his way back.  I don't want anyone to think I'm just trying to play victim or evoke sympathy.  I honestly do "get" both sides of this equation.

Another sound piece of advice my (insightful) brother Drew imparted involved focusing more attention, worry, and sincere concern on my current relationship.  Brian has (admittedly) already put up with some pretty wacky emotional behavior on my part.  How much can I really expect HIM to endure at this point?  And I respect that.  Drew is absolutely right.  But (and even Brian said this to me last night) he has never been divorced.  And maybe that's how I managed to find such a great, patient, understanding guy.  He's been there.  Last March, our relationship started as purely a supportive friendship.  He understood what I was going through, felt my passion, empathized with my despair.  He's stuck with me through so much.  I'm so grateful he isn't willing to give up on me or on us.

Therapy was good again today.  I told him all about yesterday, the drama, the blog, Facebook...  I explained how it all started, how it progressed, and how I worked my way through it.  My healing process, it turns out, is very interactive.  I learn a great deal about myself (in these emotional 'moments') through the feedback I receive both here (in the form of comments) and on Facebook.

Both the positive and negative feedback help me to work through my "issues" and find my way back to where I need to be.  So, thank you (all) for your continued input -both for and against my choices.  I accept both support and criticism as long as you are willing to put your name on your words.  I am NOT anonymous.  You need not be either.

REFOCUS:

Strengthen my relationship with God so that I can more naturally, more easily, more readily anchor to Him.

<3