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Monday, February 6, 2012

Happy or Unhappy?

I guess I still get to choose.

It is still difficult to see "Richard & Carolyn Thomson" written down.  Am I jealous?  No, not anymore.  I was jealous when he was dating her and I was trying to save our marriage.  I was insanely jealous.  Am I hurt?  Yes, a little, a lot, a little, sometimes.  Am I angry?  No, not anymore.  It just brings me sadness to think about it.  Jason has told me several times (in and outside of his therapist's office) that he just pretends they are not married.  He is a smart little boy.  Maybe that's what I do too.

I went onto Child Support Services today.  Total past due support - $20,482.40.  Total amount owed - $22,072.40.  No payments made. He told me that recovery from his surgery would be 3 months (January) so I wonder why he hasn't gone back to work.  I wonder a lot of things.

Saturday was an emotional day in many ways.  Trying to make good decisions on behalf of my family (children) is not always easy.  Here's to change...  it always keeps us on our toes.

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