business as usual.

I had cut and pasted a bunch of email interaction from this weekend, but I realized it is pointless.  Let's just say it culminated in this:

From:	amberathomson
To:	Richard Thomson
Subject:	Truth
Date:	Sun, Jan 15, 2012 10:21 pm

---

Not that you care about the realities that TRULY "contribute to where our lives have led," but here goes...

In February, when you stopped working, you TOLD me you were going to stop paying until further notice. That is when I went to the county for cash aid (and thank goodness I did!) Once I started getting cash aid, the county automatically opened up a case with DCSS. It was never my decision. You offered me a payment in May (not April) after 3 months of NOTHING, once the court told you that you were supposed to pay. I followed the directions I was given by the county to NOT accept any payments directly from you. You told me the money was sitting in its own account waiting.

I began asking you for support again in September. DCSS was held up by the filing of the order from April, because your attorney would not agree to the specifics from the hearing. I still asked you to help directly, and those payments would be credited once DCSS was able to begin enforcing. You refused. You told me the previously saved child support money went to pay school bills, medical bills, and car repairs. You offered to pay me less money than was actually owed in exchange for me "dropping" the case with DCSS. I said that wasn't fair to me or the kids, and that I did not trust you paying voluntarily. I have never even had the option of dropping the DCSS case. It was never my choice!

After that, you continued to refuse payment of any support. Several times you chose to mock me via email that I wasn't getting support from you.

Your CHOICE to avoid paying support cannot be blamed on DCSS or on me. The guy who "always does the right thing" just HASN'T. If you had any intention of "stepping up" to your responsibilities, you wouldn't let DCSS or anyone else stop you. You made six kids with me, then you took the first clear opportunity (me asking for a TEMPORARY separation) to leave & you ran directly to Carolyn.

You continually resisted my SINCERE attempts to apologize, to beg forgiveness, to try to save our eternal family, since you had already decided it would be easier to move forward and start over in a new relationship. You lied. Over and over, you outright lied to everyone about the CHOICES you were making. You voluntarily missed your son's birth AND the first 8 months of his life. You refused any form of counseling program, either with me OR individually. You repeatedly defied the guidance of all church leaders.

Now you are married, and you think, as we did after we married, that suddenly everything is all better. You are wrong. Nothing about your decision to remarry could be considered "right" or "good for our children" in any way. Any therapist on the planet would tell you it is completely emotionally unhealthy. Worst of all, it does not erase the unrighteous decisions you made getting to this point! The examples that have been set for our children cannot be undone through a(nother) quickie marriage.

I am over feeling anger towards you. I forgive you (daily, sometimes hourly.) I love you. I love our children. I even have love for Carolyn. I am grateful she treats the children kindly. I pray you find peace and truth in your journey. I pray you get therapeutic healing - I am certain it will take years - to overcome the pain of your childhood and the pain I caused you. I pray you start being honest with yourself and your wife. You "love" her now because your love for me became too painful to endure. I am sorry. My heart still aches for the hurt I caused you, but I know there is no turning back. You've chosen this path, and I still struggle, but I will respect your choice. Your current marriage is even less healthy than ours was. It is not real. It was created out of your hurt, your broken heart (that I caused, and that you never got over) and your fear. Again, I am sorry. I pray you get the help you need so that you CAN have a successful second marriage.

I told you at the end of 2010 that no matter what (divorce me, marry her) I will continue to hope for our eternal family. That hope and prayer is still very alive in me. I will do anything in my power to shield my children from the painful reality of divorce that I suffered as a child. I will raise them to be strong, confident, faithful, diligent, emotionally healthy adults - with or without your cooperation. I promise.

With love,
Amber

Patriarch

After a series of frustrating and disturbing emails back and forth to Rick, I had let anger get the better of me.  I prefer posting the entire course of email interaction, so that you all can directly read each of our words and get a better understanding of how the communication progressed, but I am not sure it is ideal.  Maybe some of my "devoted" readers can let me know if you prefer to have the actual black and white to read for yourself, or if you are satisfied with my summaries of the "fights."  Today I will do my best to summarize (which, of course, includes my editorial...)

Thursday evening I sent an email to Rick in preparation for the weekend.  There is a meeting tonight for all Baptisms in the Stake for 2012, and Jason will turn 8 at the end of March.  I wanted to notify him about the meeting and introduce the subject of "the baptism" for discussion.  I have thought, pondered and prayed on this subject for at least a year now.  Given Rick's course of action in this time, my assumption has been that he would not be able to perform the ordinance.  A man must have and be worthy of the priesthood in order to participate in such things.  It is why he was unable to do Parker's Blessing as well.  In all of my thoughts, I had settled on a personal desire to have the baptism done by the missionary who baptized me.  His name is Jason Sterzer (yes, my Jason is his namesake!) and we have remained friends since my introduction to the church.  He attended Hattie's baby blessing (where he proposed to his now wife at the beach while he was here!), we attended his temple sealing (driving to Utah in the dead of Winter with a 4 month old baby!), and we have tried hard to maintain close contact since his mission.  It makes sense to me.  I have always been aware, however, that Rick would probably want his biological father, Eric, to do it.  I am uncomfortable with that option.  I reached out to his father on several occasions over the course of the past year and a half.  The last time was in May of last year, and I was received with such hateful attacks that I spent days crying over the hurt I felt.  Examples of the types of things he told me were that Rick had received revelation regarding his relationship with Carolyn, he supported and trusted his son, I had proven myself to be unworthy and unrighteous, etc.  Mind you, these are all my words, not direct quotes from him.  I do not allow myself to re-read even the one copy of an email I still have because the negative spirit brings me to a very dark, dismal place.  I give only the gist of the feelings I got from the pages and pages of drivel I received from him.  No, there is no way I will allow Eric Madsen (or any of his children) to perform the baptism on Jason.  I have no faith in the power of his priesthood or trust in his authority.  He has burned that bridge.

Of course, Rick responded to my email (which only mentioned the prospect of Sterzer possibly doing it) with all sorts of craziness.  He said not to "count me out" to baptize his son.  And then suggestion (as expected) Eric or one of his sons.  I responded with a resounding NO WAY.  He then laid into me about my prejudice, pride, and hate which hurts others (even my children.)  He closed his letter with the statement :

You must be careful that this decision be made in the right order the
right way.

His words had their desired affect.  I was livid in my anger.  Who does he think he is, preaching to me about decisions being made in the right order??  In the right way???  Oh my goodness!  I wrote the following to him:
Yes, I have a serious problem with your father, Eric.  My problem is based on the way I have been treated by him and the things (lies and attacks) he has said to me.  You were not ever directly involved, and therefore, have NO understanding of why or where I base my decisions. I absolutely do not consider him the patriarch of our family.  Also, your ability to manipulate the church leaders who do not know the truth does not say anything about your true worthiness.  Only God can judge, and we will see who is left standing in the end.  I am not concerned about my exaltation.

Your self-righteous attitude is sad and disgusting, as I am well aware that you are the one suffering with pride, ego, etc.  If you had been willing to soften your heart, our family would not have been destroyed.

You could very easily have maintained worthiness to perform the ordinances in our family, but you made other (prideful, SELFISH) choices, and therefore, we are all suffering.  Your decision to dishonor your priesthood had NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.  It was not my choice, or my fault.  Get over yourself.

The children's records are with me, I will make the final decision.  DO NOT TALK TO ME ABOUT MAKING RIGHT CHOICES IN THE RIGHT WAY!!!!!  You couldn't be any more hypocritical.  Are you really planning to NOT allow your son to be baptized?  I offered you the courtesy of having input on who performs it, but I will not allow it to be a Madsen.  I have made myself clear.

I have reviewed texts and emails between us and I am astounded by all of the lies you told me (and I BELIEVED!!) over and over.  My gut knew better then, but my love for you blinded my ability to see you for who you are.  I thought you were a man who loved his family, did the right thing, honored the priesthood.  I was horribly, terribly wrong.  Thank you for finally showing your true character for all to see.

My feelings are based on facts and experiences.  I admit to my anger toward you, Eric, Carolyn, etc...  I am not a liar.  I tried to lie to you, my husband, and I couldn't do it for more than 2 months.  You carried on an affair for over a year and LIED LIED LIED TO EVERYONE.  It still hurts me.  I admit it.

I don't care about your prayers for me.  I am sad for you in your delusional state.  My prayer for you is the same as it has always been, that you one day see the truth.

Amber

But church today really provided me with peace.  And I came home and decided to look further into the subjects we had discussed in our emails.  Finally, today, I sent him the following email.  I welcome input from the peanut gallery:

I am sorry for once again allowing myself to be hurt and upset by our interactions.  I let my anger get the better of me, and I am still continuing to learn to have faith in the truth in the face of lies and deceit.  I hope you had a pleasant, enjoyable weekend with the children.

I am looking forward to the Baptism meeting with Jason this evening.  I am still open to discussion and agreement about who performs Jason's baptism.  If there were any possible way for you to do it, I would welcome it.  However, I am doubtful of that possibility (regardless of what you might have me believe), and I have already let you know who my "Top 3" alternate choices would be.  I think it is wonderful that Jason Sterzer is willing to make the trip out here to baptize his namesake.  Let me know if you can think of another who may be more appropriately suited to participate (barring the obvious, previously discussed...)

I was doing some research on priesthood and patriarchal responsibility and I found this article (among many others) that helped clarify my knowledge and understanding about the subject.  It also speaks to my experience with Eric, and my unwillingness to budge on that subject.  The term patriarch, in the context of the church, is directly related to a man's priesthood authority and whether or not he is using it righteously.  Simply being a male person who is the supposed "head" of household does not provide a man with spiritual superiority or the authority that is implied through using the term "patriarch."  When a man chooses to give up his priesthood right and power in pursuit of his own personal desires, his authority as "patriarch" no longer holds.  Recovering that authority takes time, humility, and sincere repentance.

http://lds.org/ensign/1989/07/unrighteous-dominion?lang=eng

With all my love,
Amber

more

--- On Wed, 5/18/11, Carolyn Taylor <carolyn> wrote:

From: Carolyn Taylor
Subject: Me
To: "Rick J Thomson"
Date: Wednesday, May 18, 2011, 4:09 PM

I know that I have a tendency to hang on to things or to not be able to get over things as fast as you do and for that I apologize. I just have to say a few things, most of which you have heard before, but I think it will help the situation. I first have to say that I am truly sorry for my reaction to your messages. You are a grown man who is fully capable of writing a message without if being proofed by me. I trust your judgement and abilities in every way but for whatever reason when it comes to her I just feel like she weaves such a trap and I freak out if I think you wrote something that her messed up mind can twist or manipulate. I am sorry for letting these things get to me over and over. I do not doubt your love for me or our commitment to each other I just have always had a problem with her constantly trying to get you back or change your mind. I have had to put up with it since I got here. The emails, the texts, messages she has the children deliver, the lunchbox, the ring etc. All these things even though you have ignored and repeatedly shut her down it still bothers me that she thinks she can do it. I also struggle with the whole "I am still your wife" comments and all of her other bs. I try so hard to not let it in but it hurts me and then out of my hurt I hurt you and us. I know 100% that after this is all done I will not allow these things to hurt me the way they do now. I know we will still have to deal with her but our situation and my "place" will be different. I never question my commitment to you or to the life we are trying to build and if I make you feel that way I am sorry. 

I am grateful for all your hard work and sacrifices that you make for me and for all of us. I love the determination and the drive you have when it comes to proargin-9 and the desire to build a successful company so we can all be together. I love that your mind is constantly trying to find ways to better our lives and our situation and that you do always, even when I don't recognize it, think of me. I love you with all my heart. I can't wait for the next chapter to start and I can't believe how close it is. I promise I will work to fix the problems I have and the problems I create for us. I love you and I thank you for your patience, understanding and ability to tolerate my b.s.

having a rough day

From Carolyn.  Dated August 17, 2010

-----Original Message-----
From: 
To: rickjthomson 
Sent: Tue, Aug 17, 2010 9:28 am
Subject: You

My Dearest Rick


I know it has been a whole 20 minutes since we talked but I just had some things that I wanted to say and I can't overload your phone with texts all day while you are trying to work. Anyway I just wanted to say how truly grateful I am for you and for all you do. I feel so overwhelmed right now with love and this overwhelming desire to just be where you are forever. It is like there was a part of me missing and you are it. I feel like there isn't anything I can't do because you love me and believe in me. You are such an amazing man and I am so grateful to have you back in my life. I know I tell you I love you a lot but I have to make up for all the years that I loved you in silence and didn't even talk to you. I missed you so much. I cannot express how happy it makes me to hear your voice again and to hear your laugh. I love your laugh. I love everything about you. I am so crazy about you and want to spend every moment of my day talking to you or being with you. I never knew that I could love someone so much. You are the greatest part of my day, all day, everyday. My favorite times of the day are the drive to work, lunch, the drive home and our last phone call of the night. I feel so happy when I hear my phone ring and I know it is you or when you send me a text. I miss you like crazy during the times we cannot talk. I adore you and everything about you.


I admire you so much and I am in awe of what an amazing person you are and all the things you have overcome. You are such a strong and determined person and it makes you incredibly sexy. I cannot explain how much I am attracted to all the wonderful things that make you who you are. You have such a strong testimony and you honor the Priesthood and strive to be the best that you can be and I admire that in you. I know that I will never have to worry about the welfare of our family because you will always strive to be the best husband and father you can be and that together we can make it back to where we belong. It is funny but there are a lot of times when I talk to you and we talk about progressing and getting stuck etc. and I always envision this image of Lehi's dream, especially after we read the scriptures together. I see us on the path trying to reach the tree and at different times you are ahead of me and sometimes I am ahead of you but we always go back and get the other person. I know that sounds weird but I feel like it represents the issues we have with ourselves because of our life experiences and rather than giving up on each other we always go back and help one another. Thank you for that. You help me overcome so many things and help me see myself in a better light than I ever have. I believe and have hope in things that I gave up on long ago. You taught me that I am lovable and that someone could really care about me. You are such a blessing to me and I cannot wait to kiss you.


I will love you ALL my life and always be there for you and believe in you. You are my prince charming and I will strive to always be worthy of you and your love.


Love Always
Carolyn

More dances with a pig.

HIS RESPONSE TO ME: 

I in no way was saying you deliberately put the kids in activities so
that I would have less time. Instead of staying and discussing and
seeking clarification you run off and misunderstand the point and
coming to an understanding of what is trying to be communicated. In
our agreement we are to discuss with the other parent activities that
might impact the others time with the children. I am very sensitive to
the time I have with them and might be selfish with that time. So when
I get an email telling me what the kids schedule is and where they
need to be planned by you and not consulting with me if your
commitments that you made for the kids is ok. I would not have a
problem with them having to come home early on Sunday if you would
have respected me and asked me before getting the kids involved with
other plans than what I may have. this month I wont have them as much
due to the vacation schedule I lose a weekend and my time with them is
valuable to me. To you its "not reasonable" for me to have them for an
extended amount of time. I am grateful for the time you do allow. So I
will take it when I can get it.

You misunderstood why Carolyn didn't want you to sit by her and you
say you never did anything to her but you did do things to her. You
feel because you have certain "truths" that you can express them
freely that's fine you will do and say what you want in you public
forum but you don't know her and never did but you presumed to know
her and wrote about her and as a result of your writings as incorrect
as they are and were brought on threats to her by your subscribers.
She was never cross to you and was there for you when you needed help.
So to her face you are wanting to get along and behind her back you
support and antagonize negative attention towards her. Im sure if the
roles were reversed you would not want her to sit by you. In the
assembly situation and in future situations we would and will be able
to sit together with the kids as end-caps us on one side you on the
other and the kids. We don't take every opportunity to tell all the
truth in my life being married to you although it would shine a light
as to why I am where I am I don't tell friends or perfect strangers
for that matter. I have been confronted by people who I don't even
know and you only just met who presume to know who I am because they
met you at a party or through the kids you bore your soul to. I don't
share my past with you and I too have the potential to defame you or
paint you in a negative light by "my truth".

In attempts to "bring peace to your family" you and Bill can talk to
as many church officials as you can but I have been sustained and will
continue to be sustained. I have from day one always been honest with
all my leaders and never ran or tried to hide my sins till I got
caught and now all it looks like is you seeking revenge not peace.

I do not hold a grudge nor do I share any negative experience with
anyone because I respect you as the mother of our children. Carolyn
and I in no way try or intend on replacing you or will ever paint you
in a negative light to them we express our love for them as parents
and will continue to do so.

As always,
Rick

MY RESPONSE TO HIM:

I have asked you to sit with me with a professional or church leader of 
your choice so that we can clear up all of these things.  You have 
refused.  I am uncomfortable "communicating" or "discussing" with you 
alone because you always lie about the interaction after the fact.  
Every single time.  If we had a neutral party present then they would be
 able to verify what was actually said by both of us.

You actually DID say that I put the kids into activities just so you do 
not have time with them.  I walked away (pleasantly, not running or 
yelling) when you began to make those accusations and raise your voice 
during the "discussion."  In your email you assume that staying would 
have involved "clarifications" but I know from experience that it would 
have only created additional tension and accelerated the fight. I chose 
to walk away and allow you to focus your energy on spending time with 
our kids.

The email I sent on Monday was explaining the activities they have been 
invited to and the complicated schedule.  It was intended to HELP YOU, 
not to hurt you.  Soccer AND choir are activities you have agreed to 
ahead of time.  I did not schedule the birthday parties OR the Christmas
 choir rehearsal.  I allowed them to participate in the choir on my 
weekends and gave you the opportunity to allow them to participate or 
not.  I didn't expect you to allow them to go, but when Hattie said you 
TOLD HER she could make the choice between it and you, she and I 
together came up with what we thought would be a solution.  Asking the 
children to "choose you" is blatant manipulation.  Let them go or 
don't.  Just please stop telling them it is their choice between you and
 their activities.

My email was intended to sincerely communicate to you the reasons why I 
find this particular activity important for the kids.  I am sorry I did 
not ask you first.  Each interaction I have with you "communicating" 
becomes increasingly irrational and filled with lies.  I do not know how
 to have a discussion with someone like that.  

You asked to have them for a week, during school time.  I said I didn't 
think it was reasonable.  Let me explain why I do not find it to be 
reasonable.  

1.  Every time the children come home from visits with you, the two 
babies both have diaper rashes.  Every time.  The visit over 
Thanksgiving was less than two days and Janey came home with such a 
terrible "boo boo butt" that it took a full week to clear it up.  Then 
the visit the following Wednesday you had them for three hours and you 
didn't change either of the babies diapers, even one time.  I have 
mentioned to you the issue of diaper rash before and you accused me of 
being "petty," but I believe that between the two of you, you should be 
able to prevent these things.  I change their diapers all on my own.  I 
do not have help, and I have never had their bottoms look so raw.  

2.  The children do not have reasonable bedtimes when they are with 
you.  They stay up all night watching movies or playing video games.  
Those things are fine for weekends when they do not have school, but on 
school nights I am concerned about their well being.  They are often 
tired on days even when they get to bed on time.  Taking the chance that
 they wouldn't get enough sleep, especially going into the holiday, is a
 big risk with which I am not comfortable.  Lack of sleep after your 
weekends makes them more grumpy, more likely to fight with each other, 
and more likely to get sick.  These are all things I have experienced.

3.  Every time the children come home they are filled with strange lies 
you have told them.  You believe you are just "telling the truth" but in
 reality you are confusing them with things that are inappropriate to 
share with children, even a ten-year-old.  Examples would be that 
Carolyn wishes she were there mother, that God brought you and Carolyn 
together (while you are still married????  What God does that?????), and
 details about your plans to wed (and go to the temple in a year? That 
sounds familiar!) one another.  The kids do not need to be involved in 
those conversations.  It is not appropriate.

As for Carolyn.  All I know of her is what I have experienced from her, 
and from you. She did help me out that one time.  Let's not forget that 
she was living with my husband at the time.  I do not see her actions as
 a woman devoted to Heavenly Father in any way.  She moved herself and 
her daughter across the country to be with a man who was married to 
someone else, and whose wife was pregnant with their SIXTH child.   If 
you respect the sanctity of marriage, especially a temple marriage, stay
 in Indiana until the marriage is over.  Instead, she chose to come out 
and get directly in between us.  You say it was already over.  That's 
fine.  It doesn't make those choices right in any way.  And she has NOT 
been nice to me in person.  She has been bitchy to me on many, many 
occasions.  She makes snippy, snotty and snide remarks to me whenever 
she has the opportunity, even in as brief interaction as dropping off 
and picking up.

You are not the man I thought I married.  You have not treated me with 
one iota of respect during the entire separation.  You have reminded me 
of all of my mistakes, faults, flaws, and the ways I have hurt you, but 
not once have you recognized the many many ways I have been hurt.  I 
have apologized to you, recognized my wrongs, and begged for 
forgiveness.  You say you have forgiven me, but still treat me like I am
 trash.  I admit I have made mistakes.  According to you, you have not 
made any mistakes.  You "are sustained."  That is such a joke.  All I 
have communicated to others is the facts.  You began your relationship 
with her the very day after we separated.  You lied about it from day 
one.  To me, to the kids, to Fritter, to your parents.  You have not 
been honest from day one with anyone.  You know that, but you feel like 
you can continue to lie now and make it all okay.  It's not okay.

It sounds as though you are saying I tried to hide my sins until I got 
caught.  Another lie.  I NEVER GOT CAUGHT.  I came to you, in tears, 
sincerely confessing, and asking to give eternity a chance.  You were 
shocked and devastated, and you had every right to be.  I will have to 
live with the consequences of how I hurt you forever.  However, your 
decision to rewrite the story after the fact does not change the truth. 
 It just makes you a liar.

I have told you over and over that I would love to hear your truth.  You
 refuse.  I can only believe that is because you know that your truth is
 filled with lies.  Our marriage was not perfect or happy for either of 
us, but it could have been repaired.  Instead, you decided to scrap 
everything and start over.  That is your right.  I just wish I wasn't 
alone in my desire to do the best thing for our children.

If you truly respect me, then please start treating me with respect.  I 
do not respect you as a man or a father.  I used to, but your actions 
and choices since our separation have created our new relationship.    
You continue to prove yourself lacking, making every decision in your 
life to benefit you (and your new family) and not them.

I respect you as the only father my children will have.  

I will respect you beyond that when you become worthy of respect.

Thank you,

Amber

Another waste of time.

(sent just now - 12:58am 12/03/2011)

Dear Rick,

I am very disappointed that you will not allow Hattie and Jason to attend their rehearsal for the Stake (Church) Christmas Choir on Sunday afternoon.  I had hoped that since I was dropping them off almost 4 hours early yesterday, it would make up for "your time" lost on Sunday.  A 4:30 rehearsal, at the stake center, would only take an hour and a half away from "you" but would allow them a valuable opportunity.  I do not refer to the opportunity to sing in the choir, because they will still be able to participate in the performance next Sunday night.  What I wish I could communicate to you is the value this activity plays in bringing the two of them closer.  Although it was only an hour long rehearsal last Sunday, it was something that the two bigger kids got to do together.  Jason looks up to Hattie so much, and seldom do they truly get a chance to bond, just the two of them.  They both came home giddy, even excited, over the experience they had had.  Jason was still singing and the two of them were still discussing the "arrangement" of the songs the next morning.

I resent the implication that I put them into activities "just to take time from their Dad."  That accusation is ludicrous.  I allow them to participate in activities that are wholesome, fun, and good for them.  If I prevented them those opportunities based on your unwillingness to cooperate, I am sure I would be accused of something else.  Instead, I bend over backwards to protect them, support them, and love them every minute of every day.  I try to provide for their emotional well-being even though I am unable to provide for them financially.  I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father and to my parents for providing for them and me where we both have fallen short.

I am through fighting.  I will continue to attempt to communicate with you, as an adult.  I will continue to ask for your assistance in supporting our children's participation in a wide variety of activities.  Some of them will happen on your time.  You will continue to have the right to refuse them those opportunities.

I believe that telling the children that "it is their choice" to participate in these activities "but it means less time with Dad" is manipulative.  It is unhealthy.  In time they will see for themselves the sick mind games you are playing.  Whether or not you are willing to admit it, those types of statements encourage feelings of guilt in a child, as though it is a choice between a parent and an activity.  They will never want to hurt you that way.  They will always choose you when you make that the choice.

Both Jason and Hattie are now seeing the same therapist, and it has been really good for their relationship.  They often have portions of sessions together to work out the conflicts between them.  Of course they still fight - they are siblings - but I have seen a marked improvement in their attempts to care for each other as well.

I have never and will never prevent them from developing their relationships with you.  I know, better than many, how important parental-child relationships are to healthy relationships later in life.  I will continue to offer opportunities for you to support them.  I pray some day you begin putting their needs above your own.  This situation is difficult enough for them as it stands.

As always,
Amber

Just following up.

From:	Richard Thomson
To:	Amber Thomson
Subject:	Re: Cooperating
Date:	Sun, Nov 20, 2011 3:43 pm

---

There will not be any problems when you understand you are not my wife
and that you are not welcome to sit with us You can put children
between us but neither one of us feel comfortable sitting by you.
There weren't any chairs to sit in on the side where you were when we
came in They sat chairs up on the other side and we were ushered over
there We had no problem with sitting on same side as you and do not
want the children to run back and forth The problems is you want to
say and do whatever you want to us and then expect us to want to be
anywhere near you We understand that we will have to be together at
events like these but we don't have to pretend to be best friends
Carolyn simply said she did not want to sit by you You got loud and
overreacted You passed empty chairs and the kids and came over by
Carolyn She is full aware of the comments you make about her on the
blog and facebook and that you have even tried to contact her family
with invites to your blog and playdates Newsflash they don't want
anything to do with you We can learn to work together when you learn
basic social skills The reasonable solution is us delegated by the
children You do not need to sit by either of us You can choose to be
offended or stop and rethink your actions

Thank you

From:	amberathomson
To:	Richard Thomson
Subject:	Re: Cooperating
Date:	Sun, Nov 20, 2011 9:18 pm

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Rick,

I intended to sit where it was most convenient for the children. It's not about you or her. I chose to invite you to the assembly because I knew it would be nice for Jason. Obviously, the selfish thing would have been to not bother. I would not have had to see either of you. However, I make decisions based on what is best for our children. That includes any contact made with her family. I don't care what they think of me, or if they want to be my friend. I care about the children continuing to feel additional loss as a result of your decisions. I will do what I can to protect them, even make contact with people who have proven that they don't always act in the best interest of the children. I presented the opportunity and am happy to retract it.

Carolyn got loud and confrontational at the sight of me. I responded out of shock and disgust. I have not done anything to her, yet she hates me and thinks she can mother the children better than I. She cannot. Just as no man I choose to bring into their life will ever replace you. I actually experienced the reality of divorced parents, you did not. I will do everything in my power to protect them because I know how much all of this hurts them. I see it in them; they share their feelings with me. They know it is safe with me.

I am not personally offended, maybe the two of you were, though. I would offer the same suggestion - that you both learn basic social skills.

My blog is not public. It is also 100% true. If either of you are not interested in hearing (reading) the truth, you should stop. That is wholly your choice.

I am your wife until we are divorced. We are not divorced. I'm sure you are both aware of that reality as well. I'm sure she's tired of waiting for you to "legitimize" your adulturous relationship. I'm actually tired of it myself, as I continue (and will continue) to deal with the emotional and spiritual repercussions in the children.

Please return the Dora tennis shoes. They were brand new, and those pink clogs are very poorly constructed. Also, the $26 Jason gave to you was stolen from my wallet. I would appreciate you returning it. I am surprised you kept that much money coming from a seven year old.

Amber

For all the world to see. I have nothing to hide.

From:	Amber Thomson
To:	Rick
Subject:	Cooperating
Date:	Sun, Nov 20, 2011 11:58 am

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Dear Rick,

Please tell your shack-up honey that when we are at events with our children, for our children, we will be sitting together.  Her behavior on Friday was neither civil nor polite, and certainly was not conducive to cooperative parenting.  If she cannot handle being in the same vicinity as your wife and the mother of your children, she is welcome to NOT attend such events.  Yes, the kids are very excited to see their Dad and Carolyn and Norah when you guys show up, but they also like being with both Mom and Dad throughout the course of the time.  It is not reasonable to expect either of us to sit on the opposite side of the room from our children and have them running back and forth.  Plus it is/would be extremely disruptive, especially in a small venue like the school auditorium.  I trust we are in agreement on this issue and that we will not have any problems in the future.

Thank you,

Amber